The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has issued a warning about a
new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease
is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease
is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced ?gonna reelect him?).
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the
past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect
themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim
include, but are not limited to:
- Anti-social personality disorder traits
- Delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor
- Chronic mangling of the English language
- Extreme cognitive dissonance
- Inability to incorporate new information
- Pronounced xenophobia
- Inability to accept responsibility for actions
- Exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado
- Uncontrolled primate style facial smirking
- Ignorance of geography and history
- Tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies
- A strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior
are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only
a few years ago in a Texas Bush.
You have been warned; take precautions!