Monday, August 1

(Repost) Allowing others to...

*****Technical Errors Require this to be reposted*****

Recently I have been reminded how extremely difficult it is for me to allow others to be themselves and believe whatever they want to believe. Over the past week I have been involved in 4 conversations in 4 different subject areas where I have had to give up the conversation because it became apparent the other person in the conversation didn't see things the way I did thus didn't believe the same truisms that I believe. This is always tortuous to me because the way I see it is that I am approaching whatever it is from the rational and objective which is universal and easy for everyone to see. What I forget is two-fold. One person's logic is another person's bullshit and two what's logical to me might be emotional to them. This turns it into a three-fold reason but I might not be seeing things as objectively as I think I am.

I believe we are all blessed with certain talents, skills, and tendencies which when used properly help us make decisions and function as the higher primates we are. I was blessed with several including an ability to see and objectively weigh many angles to an issue.
For example, as patron accounts specialist for the library I worked with patrons to resolve issues regarding their library accounts, usually monetary. I was very intuitive about this. I could suss out the problem, empathize with the patron, present the library's POV and usually, come up with a painless, equitable solution. I know when to hold them and when to fold them - the rules, so to speak.
Also I can almost intuitively find alternative solutions to issues. Lastly, I am optimistic. I have faith in "the systems" and people despite their failings.

The first conversation was related to the "birther" issue. In my mind there comes a point where the evidence outweighs the skepticism. This isn't a matter of faith like God. It is the fact that there is a birth certificate and despite the fact that documents can be forged common sense and the fact that its legal status has been corroborated on many levels should put the issue to rest. Well, for some people its not that simple. One person I spoke with, who doubts the fact that electricity was discovered the way it was discovered b/c "people lie" - just because its in a book doesn't mean its real. So, from his POV forgeries are more likely than not b/c "people lie".

The second conversation was more personal. It was related to Tara and me resolving an issue at home which she keeps revisiting the origins of the issue eventhough we've already implemented an action plan to resolve the proplem. I don't know why she feels the need to revisit how when we're already past that.

The final conversation was along the same lines. I know someone who believes they are the victim of a conspiratorial setup for prison, although there is no evidence towards this end. They believe there is no sense in trying to find meaningful employment or develop relationships b/c it will all be taken away by this nefarious group. On top of that, this person repeatedly asks why these people would do this kind of thing. Sorta like Tara's insistence on rehashing the origins of the problem.

To my mind the origins are no longer important b/c, in the first case, Tara and I are no longer in a situation that brought this issue about and in the second case, if the result is predetermined why worry about the motives of these evil people.