I made a mistake and it is costing my family dearly and I am having a very hard time coming to terms with it. The cost is relative but this decision is causing pain to a loved one, taking money from our very small bank account, stealing time from our finely tuned schedule, and soon it will be a major inconvenience.
My dog was diagnosed with heart worms, a highly treatable - although it wasn't when I worked in a vet clinic 25 years ago, highly preventable mosquito transmitted parasite. I should concentrate on the highly treatable part of the equation, right? Well, I'm not. I'm fixated on the highly preventable part of the equation. I was diligently giving Johnders his chewable preventative every month for 2, almost 3 years, of his life. I stopped giving the tablets to him b/c in my analysis - limited and superficial - the risk/$$ ratio said the risk to him was really small but things changed and Johnders got infected. Now my seemingly thrifty decision has become a major expense of time, money, energy, and Johnders is suffering currently with the parasite (in the heart and lungs), soon with the treatment (very painful shots) and lastly, the recovery (absolute bedrest).
Tara asked if I was Jewish or Catholic b/c of this guilt I've saddled myself with but I feel like a heel for making a mistake that is resulting is such a burden for my family.