Monday, June 23

Why do I do this?

Why do I insist on letting toxic people intrude on me?

I have an acquaintance who is about as toxic as they come. They are lonely and insecure, they were put under lots of pressure to be perfect when they were kids and now they not only put that pressure on themselves but they put it on those around them.

Every conversation I have with this person is a repeat of the last conversation. There are non-sequiters, there are blurbs, there are pronouncements, there are silences but most of the conversation is "Why do people do this (what ever this is) to me?" This person actually told me this weekend that they could not, I repeat, could NOT, accept the fact that everybody has different skills! How ridiculous and narcissistic is that? Jesus, if someone gets to their station in life b/c they know how to talk to people instead of graduating "Magna Cum Laude" big deal, right?!

I get really frustrated. The thing I can't get past is in my eyes our upbringing is extremely similar and it bothers me that someone seemingly so similar can't or won't grasp things that we talk about over and over. Time after time, its the same questions and scenarios. I've tried to be philosophical, I've tried to be practical and nothing makes a differences. A few months pass and we have the same conversation all over again.

I know I'm not being as compassionate as I need to be but it drives me up the wall. I feel compelled to stick it out thinking that every conversation will be the one where the "aha" light goes off and this person will get it. But alas, I am stressed during and after each call.

When will I stop trying to make someone see the light when I know its out of my control.
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