Friday, January 27

What's going on...

It's been awhile since I've really said anything. Basically, I haven't wanted to say anything. The days pass by some things stay the same and my mood moves toward depression...nothing major; nothing like 2 years ago when I was really dragging.

Part of it is the reality that I make about 50% of what I made this time last year and my bills are exponentially higher. Tara takes care of most of them but I feel the pressure of being on a budget, a tight budget, and this is something I haven't had to worry about in a very long time.

The other part, the part that I have to really work on is how much of a slacker I feel like around Tara. I know I shouldn't - and don't have to - compare myself to Tara but when such a commanding persona is in your space everyday it's hard not to feel a little, dare I say, inadequate. Tara is confident in herself and her way and sometimes oblivious to fact that other people do things other ways that work just as well. I have to figure out how to deal with this. It's tough b/c I loathe confrontation. Confrontation makes me shutter, and I never know how to move beyond it, even the slightest head-butt.

We have a lifetime to work on this...
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