Top Ten Signs That You Won't Be Winning an Academy Award

Taken from the Late Show website w/o permission. Thanks Dave.

Late Show Top Ten Archive: March 18, 1997:

10. Instead of 'direct to video,' your movie was released 'direct to landfill'

9. Film title includes the words 'booty' and/or 'call'

8. Did Quentin Tarantino direct your movie? No. Did Quentin Tarantino star in your movie? Yes

7. After he saw your film, Salman Rushdie called for your death

6. In your movie, all of Sharon Stone's nude scenes are done by a stand-in named Stu

5. Every time you yelled 'action' your lead actor started shaking like a medicated bunny

4. The name of your movie: 'The People vs. Larry King'

3. You're this guy (picture not included so, use your imagination)

2. When reviewing your films, Siskel and Ebert use a different finger

1. Your movie's ad line: 'Richard Simmons is Hamlet' Back To March 1997 Archive