Pissed Off Wife

Dear Dr. Phil:

My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Sincerely,
Pissed Off Wife